Archive for Sarah Palin

Main Street, Joe Six-Pack and Politians That Don’t Know Me.

Posted in politics, random with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2008 by Rick

John Q. Pubilc, John Q. Taxpayer, John Q. Citizen, Joe Blow, Average Joe, the condescending Joe Schmoe and the morbid John Doe. All of the aforementioned terms are common when referring to the middle class, small business or just some person whose name you don’t know. But those terms are so passe. Presidential wanna-bees John McCain and Barack Obama made it clear that the country is split between Wall Street and Main Street. Wall Street is nothing new to me or any Tom, Dick or Jane in America. However, when they referred to Main Street I got a little confused. Initially, I assumed I was a part of the Main Street crew. The dueling senators used the term interchangeably to identify small business, the middle class or those that make $250,000 or less. Kind of a broad brush but I get it. I considered those categorized as “Wall Street” and realized there was a huge portion of the country totally omitted from this conversation. Where do J-Mac and Obie fit into the picture? Were there streets that weren’t mentioned, with some cool name I don’t know of? Like Easy Street? Do citizens who make more than $250,000 not have streets? Maybe the Mark Cubans, David Lettermans and Terrell Owens of the world are shielded from the damage of an economic collapse? Surely I jest. But this all makes me wonder what other clever names the politicians have for those that don’t live like them. If you have insight please share.

On a similar note, who is JOE SIX-PACK? Don’t google it. Seriously! Save yourself! Those sites aren’t as innocent as their domain names suggest! Shouldn’t a conservative candidate like Palin find a more appropriate term to categorize folks she patronizes? Unless, the “six-pack” is a gross overestimation of the physical fitness of the average American, or a bazaar parallel between the average taxpayer and carbonated soda consumption, the term is inaccurate at best.

By the way! As long as the candidates are finding clever little ways to endear themselves to the little guy, why not give me, my phone, my mailbox and my inbox a break and raise campaign funds by selling out the rights to your preferred term of estrangement. For example, instead of Governor Palin calling me Joe Six-Pack, she could work a deal and call me Joe ipod (C) or John Q. Ameritrade (TM). I still won’t identify with the label but at least she can capitalize on the ad revenue, helping John McCain a lot more than she is now.
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To Those Who’ve Gone Before…(The Harmless Guys)

Posted in Comedy, Movies, politics, random with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2008 by Rick

I am no Democrat and I’m no Republican. I would never vote for a guy just because we share ethnic heritage (but it helps). As I weigh the issues and wade through the partisan poop in search of the lesser evil, I can’t help but wonder what this country would look like under the leadership of a black Commander-In-Chief (even a half black one). To catch a glimpse of the possibilities I turn to one of my most beloved confidant…Hollywood!

What happens if the US President and the Speaker of the House of Representatives are assassinated and the Vice-President is hopelessly invalid? Well, the president pro tempore of the US Senate is leader of “the most powerful nation in the world” (or some other arrogant cliche). This scenario played out in the movie The Man and somebody forgot to tell the assassins that the pres-pro-temp was a black man!

James Earl Jones as reluctant President Dilman

James "I-am-your-father" Earl Jones as reluctant President Dilman

While he was the most eloquent Head’s of State ever, his appointment didn’t sit well with America.

Deep Impact So a seven mile-wide asteroid hurls perilously towards the Earth, threatening the human race and whose sucky job is it to find a way to select one million Americans to be preserved in a cave and tell billions of others to duck-and-cover? Brother President Tom Beck.

Morgan Freeman as President Tom Beck (Watch for falling objects)

Morgan Freeman as President Tom Beck (Watch for falling objects)

Normally, Morgan’s characters assists random white people. As President, random white people assist him. That trend continues today which is why his wife wants a divorce (was that too far?).

Head of State Again someone had to die for a black man to get consideration, but neighborhood Alderman, Mays Gilliam, truly preps America for Obama because he has limited experience.

Chris Rock and Bernie Mac as Pres. and Veep hopefuls Mays and Mitch Gilliam

Chris Rock and Bernie Mac as Pres. and Veep hopefuls Mays and Mitch Gilliam

Ironically, I called Blockbuster Video in Juneau, Alaska and their only copy was rented by Sarah Palin. It seems she was inspired too.

If you wonder why America seems so poised to accept an African American as our next leader, don’t blame the current administration, but credit the producers of 24.

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Dennis Haysbert as 24's now deceased President Palmer

President Palmer’s warm baritone was enough to comfort any citizen, regardless of what color the terror alert was. And he makes me ask myself “Am I in good hands?”

Coming soon, Part 2…(The Scary Guys).

Liz Lemon for Veep?

Posted in people, politics with tags , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2008 by Rick

If Tina Fey wasn’t such a lib I’d sware….