Archive for Dave Chappelle

Save Yourselves!!!

Posted in Entertainment, Movies, random with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2008 by Rick

That famous line was tossed around in horror movies and bad tv when one guy from a group of chasees twists an ankle, or steps in a bear trap and can no longer elude his or her pursuer. He selflessly urges his friends not to slow themselves down by trying to save him but to “SAVE YOURSELVES!!!”

In this tradition I offer a short list of recent movies and tv that have tripped me up and I implore you to…(you know)

#3. Kath & Kim (NBC)– This show stars SNL vet Molly Shannon and Selma Blair of…well…she’s not very famous but she was in the Hell Boy films and Legally Blonde (so I’ve heard). It’s a US retelling of an Aussie hit that clearly misses. The American version has been tossed in Australia and should be on its way to the heap on this side of the pond as well. Don’t Waste Your Life!

#2. Chocolate News (Comedy Central)– I want to file a Class Action suit against Dave Chappelle. His abandonment of the network forced them to rush to fill his spot. They offered The Sarah Silverman Program in all its racist glory, The Mind of Mencia in all its racist glory and now Chocolate News starring David Allen Grier…racist. These programs abandon wit and clever writing for crude words and images, and shock talk. They capitalize on doing things that garner more discomfort than entertainment.

#1 The Hearbreak Kid (2007)– The Farrelly brothers take another shot that misses the mark completely. Having success with Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary, the sibling writer-producer-directors run out of ideas and offer this course attempt at humor. This movie made me want to take a brillo pad to my soul. Its only redeeming quality is that it was on HBO and I didn’t lose money at the box office or Blockbuster. However, I will never get those 99 minutes back. Carlos Mencia stinks up this movie too.

To Those Who’ve Gone Before-Part 2…(The Scary Guys)

Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Movies, politics, random, television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2008 by Rick

Continuing the exploration into Hollywood’s portrayal of black presidency, let’s take a look at the guys who put could possibly cause America to hesitate even more at the ballot box.

Speaking of Barack and Sarah’s questionable executive experience, how about a seven-year-old in the oval office? (insert Dubyah joke here) Sammy Davis Jr. dances his way into office in the 1933 short-film Rufus Jones for President. The issues?  No locks on the chicken coops, a Memphis Blues National Anthem, public watermelon vines, you know, the usual 1930’s racial stereotypes. I mean really…a DICE president?

7yo Sammy Davis Jr as President Rufus Jones. He killed the talent protion of the campaign!

7yo Sammy Davis Jr as President Rufus Jones. He killed the talent portion of the campaign!

There were several amazing parallels to the beloved Clinton reign of the ’90s. Electing Davis was also electing a woman to the office ala Billary (Rufus’ mother/presidentess played by Ethel Waters), and when his actions were questioned President Jones gave a song and dance much like…I’m sorry that was too easy.

Fast forward 44 years and comedian Richard Pryor explores the faint possibility of being the nation’s first black president. He was doing fine until he mentioned that Huey Newton was the most qualified to run the FBI.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 40th President of the United States.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 40th President of the United States.

He promised to get black owners in the NFL. Who would have thought that would be more elusive than electing a black candidate for presidency?

The Fifth Element cast Tommy “Tiny” Lister as President Lindberg. As a commenter on the previous post pointed out, Lindberg was a decent president. But nobody’s sleeping while a cross-eyed, 6’7″, 260lbs bald dude with tattoos has access to the nuke button.

Tiny Lister as President "D-Bo" Lindberg

Tiny Lister as President "D-Bo" Lindberg.

They did let Jesse “The Body” Ventura run Minnesota though!

Recently another comedian took a shot at painting the White House black but he did it with a question, “What if President G.W. Bush were a black man?” At least he would “keep it real” about our true motives in this war.

Dave Chappelle's Black Bush admits the war is really about Sadaam's attempt on his father.

Dave Chappelle's Black Bush admits the war is really about Sadaam's attempt on his father.

This would make Kanye’s statement seem a bit more foolish.

FINALLY! The last African-American President on this list should scare anyone, regardless of race, creed or religion. Many people overlooked this movie, and for good reason. Idiocracy is not for everyone. I loved it but I’m sick and partially twisted. Among other hilarious things, this futuristic morality tale introduced the world to President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, porn star and five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion.

Terry Crews brings bling and Zubaz to the Oval Office

Terry Crews brings bling and Zubaz to the Oval Office

Even Al and Jesse would have a tough time endorcinng this one. Well…maybe Al.