Archive for the Comedy Category

To Kill a Wedding Night…

Posted in Comedy, Life, people with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2009 by Rick

Informationweek.com posted this bizarre report on it’s blog. The highly anticipated new Palm Pre hit Sprint stores Saturday June 7th, and let’s just say this guy probably did not have as awesome a wedding night as he could have. (picture posted on missjia.com)

Picture 18

On Saturday at 7 a.m., Theodore was 14th in line at an Atlanta-area Sprint store, fidgeting for his new Pre. His wedding was scheduled for 8 a.m. As much as Theodore wanted Pre, he wanted his bride, Anita, to see him at the altar at the appointed time. At 7:45, he abandoned his wait and left his line-number and credit card information with a Sprint store employee, asking that he “hold the 14th phone for me.”

Sprint store employee obliged. Minutes after the recessional, the newlyweds returned to pick up their phone, spending the first minutes of married life with a Ready Now consultant who walked the happy couple through Pre’s setup and features. The new Mrs. Travis later revealed that her reaction was “You did what?” to her husband spending the hour before their wedding waiting for a phone, but later admitted, “I guess I kind of understand now.”

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My Small Screen Debut 1993

Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Life, Music with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2008 by Rick

picture-5My wife sent me a text this afternoon, reminiscing over a 90’s R&B hood classic “Just Kickin’ It” by a group called Xscape (This moniker always bothered me because it was a common mispronunciation of the word escape-Rickipedia). Three of the members of Xscape were close friends of mine in high school and had just finished their first album, so I did what any fame thisrty teenager would do, I found a way to get in the video! Don’t get too caught up in trying to digest the entire video. Do yourself a favor and jump to 2:57 for the first of several shots of your favorite red-visored-fishing-vested teen. That gold chain was real but it was thin as notebook paper.

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To Those Who’ve Gone Before-Part 2…(The Scary Guys)

Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Movies, politics, random, television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2008 by Rick

Continuing the exploration into Hollywood’s portrayal of black presidency, let’s take a look at the guys who put could possibly cause America to hesitate even more at the ballot box.

Speaking of Barack and Sarah’s questionable executive experience, how about a seven-year-old in the oval office? (insert Dubyah joke here) Sammy Davis Jr. dances his way into office in the 1933 short-film Rufus Jones for President. The issues?  No locks on the chicken coops, a Memphis Blues National Anthem, public watermelon vines, you know, the usual 1930’s racial stereotypes. I mean really…a DICE president?

7yo Sammy Davis Jr as President Rufus Jones. He killed the talent protion of the campaign!

7yo Sammy Davis Jr as President Rufus Jones. He killed the talent portion of the campaign!

There were several amazing parallels to the beloved Clinton reign of the ’90s. Electing Davis was also electing a woman to the office ala Billary (Rufus’ mother/presidentess played by Ethel Waters), and when his actions were questioned President Jones gave a song and dance much like…I’m sorry that was too easy.

Fast forward 44 years and comedian Richard Pryor explores the faint possibility of being the nation’s first black president. He was doing fine until he mentioned that Huey Newton was the most qualified to run the FBI.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 40th President of the United States.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 40th President of the United States.

He promised to get black owners in the NFL. Who would have thought that would be more elusive than electing a black candidate for presidency?

The Fifth Element cast Tommy “Tiny” Lister as President Lindberg. As a commenter on the previous post pointed out, Lindberg was a decent president. But nobody’s sleeping while a cross-eyed, 6’7″, 260lbs bald dude with tattoos has access to the nuke button.

Tiny Lister as President "D-Bo" Lindberg

Tiny Lister as President "D-Bo" Lindberg.

They did let Jesse “The Body” Ventura run Minnesota though!

Recently another comedian took a shot at painting the White House black but he did it with a question, “What if President G.W. Bush were a black man?” At least he would “keep it real” about our true motives in this war.

Dave Chappelle's Black Bush admits the war is really about Sadaam's attempt on his father.

Dave Chappelle's Black Bush admits the war is really about Sadaam's attempt on his father.

This would make Kanye’s statement seem a bit more foolish.

FINALLY! The last African-American President on this list should scare anyone, regardless of race, creed or religion. Many people overlooked this movie, and for good reason. Idiocracy is not for everyone. I loved it but I’m sick and partially twisted. Among other hilarious things, this futuristic morality tale introduced the world to President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, porn star and five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion.

Terry Crews brings bling and Zubaz to the Oval Office

Terry Crews brings bling and Zubaz to the Oval Office

Even Al and Jesse would have a tough time endorcinng this one. Well…maybe Al.

I Reserve Judgement So YOU Don’t Have To…!

Posted in Comedy, Entertainment, Faith & Religion, Music, people with tags , , , on September 15, 2008 by Rick

Jesus knew this would happen but he died for us anyway! What a savior!

To Those Who’ve Gone Before…(The Harmless Guys)

Posted in Comedy, Movies, politics, random with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 5, 2008 by Rick

I am no Democrat and I’m no Republican. I would never vote for a guy just because we share ethnic heritage (but it helps). As I weigh the issues and wade through the partisan poop in search of the lesser evil, I can’t help but wonder what this country would look like under the leadership of a black Commander-In-Chief (even a half black one). To catch a glimpse of the possibilities I turn to one of my most beloved confidant…Hollywood!

What happens if the US President and the Speaker of the House of Representatives are assassinated and the Vice-President is hopelessly invalid? Well, the president pro tempore of the US Senate is leader of “the most powerful nation in the world” (or some other arrogant cliche). This scenario played out in the movie The Man and somebody forgot to tell the assassins that the pres-pro-temp was a black man!

James Earl Jones as reluctant President Dilman

James "I-am-your-father" Earl Jones as reluctant President Dilman

While he was the most eloquent Head’s of State ever, his appointment didn’t sit well with America.

Deep Impact So a seven mile-wide asteroid hurls perilously towards the Earth, threatening the human race and whose sucky job is it to find a way to select one million Americans to be preserved in a cave and tell billions of others to duck-and-cover? Brother President Tom Beck.

Morgan Freeman as President Tom Beck (Watch for falling objects)

Morgan Freeman as President Tom Beck (Watch for falling objects)

Normally, Morgan’s characters assists random white people. As President, random white people assist him. That trend continues today which is why his wife wants a divorce (was that too far?).

Head of State Again someone had to die for a black man to get consideration, but neighborhood Alderman, Mays Gilliam, truly preps America for Obama because he has limited experience.

Chris Rock and Bernie Mac as Pres. and Veep hopefuls Mays and Mitch Gilliam

Chris Rock and Bernie Mac as Pres. and Veep hopefuls Mays and Mitch Gilliam

Ironically, I called Blockbuster Video in Juneau, Alaska and their only copy was rented by Sarah Palin. It seems she was inspired too.

If you wonder why America seems so poised to accept an African American as our next leader, don’t blame the current administration, but credit the producers of 24.

..

Dennis Haysbert as 24's now deceased President Palmer

President Palmer’s warm baritone was enough to comfort any citizen, regardless of what color the terror alert was. And he makes me ask myself “Am I in good hands?”

Coming soon, Part 2…(The Scary Guys).

Woeful Weekend…

Posted in Comedy, Early Death, Entertainment, Life, Movies, people, television, Tragedy with tags , , , , , , on August 10, 2008 by Rick

Two of my favorite artistic forms took a solid hit this weekend. It began with the early exit of comedian/actor Bernie Mac. No doubt, if you’ve ever heard him, you recognize his signature cadence. If you’ve ever seen him it’s easy to recall the facial expressions that seemed to be punchlines all by themselves. If you’ve ever seen him deliver stand-up you know that he could handle a four-letter-word like a ninja does nunchucks. But he did make a highly respectable mark on popular culture with his family oriented The Bernie Mac Show that painted a colorful portrait of African American middle class life. He also earned some movie roles in Ocean’s 11, 12 & 13 and Guess Who. He was taken away at 50 due to complications of pneumonia. I will always respect him because despite growing up under adverse conditions on the south side of Chicago, Mac seemed determined to succeed without excuses. He persevered despite losing his only true parent to cancer when he was 16 years-old. He didn’t get his show biz break until he was 32 but until that point he punched clocks at UPS, a bread company and furniture moving company while trying to achieve as an entertainer. When he “made it” he did not take his celebrity for granted. He worked to be a positive role model for young people (in spite of foul language). Thank you Bernie Mac! You will be missed.

Comedian Bernie Mac

Bernard Jeffrey McCullough (October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008)

A Sweet End to Racism…?

Posted in Comedy with tags , , , , on August 4, 2008 by Rick

(paraphrased/edited for language) “Racism’s not over until they change the taste of black licorice. What ingredients are they using to make the black candies? What tastes so bad? All the other colors make logical sense. You bite into the red one and say ‘mmm, this one tastes like strawberries’…you bite the black ones and you’re thinking ‘logically, it’s gonna taste like blackberries’…not a chance. It’s the only candy that will make you want to fight! What is this, sugar and hate? It tastes like molasses and struggle!”

Comedian-Gilson Lubin, Def Comedy Jam, 2008.