Save Yourselves!!!

That famous line was tossed around in horror movies and bad tv when one guy from a group of chasees twists an ankle, or steps in a bear trap and can no longer elude his or her pursuer. He selflessly urges his friends not to slow themselves down by trying to save him but to “SAVE YOURSELVES!!!”

In this tradition I offer a short list of recent movies and tv that have tripped me up and I implore you to…(you know)

#3. Kath & Kim (NBC)– This show stars SNL vet Molly Shannon and Selma Blair of…well…she’s not very famous but she was in the Hell Boy films and Legally Blonde (so I’ve heard). It’s a US retelling of an Aussie hit that clearly misses. The American version has been tossed in Australia and should be on its way to the heap on this side of the pond as well. Don’t Waste Your Life!

#2. Chocolate News (Comedy Central)– I want to file a Class Action suit against Dave Chappelle. His abandonment of the network forced them to rush to fill his spot. They offered The Sarah Silverman Program in all its racist glory, The Mind of Mencia in all its racist glory and now Chocolate News starring David Allen Grier…racist. These programs abandon wit and clever writing for crude words and images, and shock talk. They capitalize on doing things that garner more discomfort than entertainment.

#1 The Hearbreak Kid (2007)– The Farrelly brothers take another shot that misses the mark completely. Having success with Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary, the sibling writer-producer-directors run out of ideas and offer this course attempt at humor. This movie made me want to take a brillo pad to my soul. Its only redeeming quality is that it was on HBO and I didn’t lose money at the box office or Blockbuster. However, I will never get those 99 minutes back. Carlos Mencia stinks up this movie too.

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One Response to “Save Yourselves!!!”

  1. You forgot about Knight Rider. What a disappointment!

    That show is so terrible I blocked it mentally. The Ford Mustang turns into an F150 pick-up!?! They should transform the cast into skilled actors then maybe I’d watch.

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