PETA Was No Fisherman…

Today I’d like to highlight PETA and the wonderful labor of love they do for Sea Kittens!

That’s correct. Sea Kittens. You see, for far too long we barbaric humans have mistreated and abused our water dwelling brethren. Inhumanely treating them as FOOD! Thanks to the genius and compassion of PETA, we can now embrace the creatures formerly known as fish, as warmly as we do their land dwelling counterparts…cats. By relabeling them as sea kittens we will miraculously shift our perspective of fish as voiceless, water-bound delicacies to now celebrating them as cohabitants in the family of the inedible.

PETA wants you to understand that sea kittens have been victimized because we can’t hear them scream when we uproot them from their marine dwellings, butcher them up and lay their hapless carcasses on ice…or in a frying pan with corn meal…or in lemon & butter with herbs then baked to a flaky-NO! NO! NO!

Sigh! Sorry PETA. You may take my quarterback, but you’ll never take…my GRILLED TILAPIA!!!

…and I won’t be eating human-breast-milk ice cream either!

This post inspired by Brian Brasher’s October 8, 2008 entry.

My apologies for the lame biblical reference and the pun in the title.


5 Responses to “PETA Was No Fisherman…”

  1. Sooooo, are you saying that I can’t eat the Tuna that I just bought?

    Sure you can…just have a short memorial service before diving in.

  2. I like the idea of giving things more descriptive names. Manatees are also called “Sea Cows” and we eat cows, so let’s also start eating Manatees. If fish (which are pretty tasty) are going to be called “Sea Kittens”, can then also start eating “Land Kittens”? What do they taste like anyway?

    PETA isn’t very descriptive though. Maybe “Land Idiots” or Poodle Excrement Talking of Animals?

    Great point Joe! Some in Eastern Europe and Asia would tell you that “Land Kitten” is good eatin’!

  3. Hilarious. I especially like the Breast Milk ice cream from the Swiss. I wonder if they’ll be putting that in their chocolate from now on. I also wonder how they will get the breast milk. One can only hope that the mothers will be attached to huge milking machines and forced to wallow in their own filth. For the record I eat meat and drink cow milk, but I do think that milk and meat that comes from properly treated animals taste better. That could just be psychosomatic, though.

  4. At age 13, I passed the State of Tennessee Hunter Safety program. Six months later I slayed a deer, field dressed it, butchered, cooked and ate it. I have been a member of PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) ever since.

    Well done bro. A modern day Esau. On another note…“slayed?” 😉

  5. Bruce Ishikawa Says:

    If people were supposed to be vegetarians, meat wouldn’t taste so good.

    Does PETA also advocate saving the cruel tuna, sharks, swordfish and other carniverous sea kittens? What do they feed their land kittens? Or their dogs? Oh, yeah, having pets is cruelty, I forgot.

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