Archive for October, 2008

Save Yourselves!!!

Posted in Entertainment, Movies, random with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2008 by Rick

That famous line was tossed around in horror movies and bad tv when one guy from a group of chasees twists an ankle, or steps in a bear trap and can no longer elude his or her pursuer. He selflessly urges his friends not to slow themselves down by trying to save him but to “SAVE YOURSELVES!!!”

In this tradition I offer a short list of recent movies and tv that have tripped me up and I implore you to…(you know)

#3. Kath & Kim (NBC)– This show stars SNL vet Molly Shannon and Selma Blair of…well…she’s not very famous but she was in the Hell Boy films and Legally Blonde (so I’ve heard). It’s a US retelling of an Aussie hit that clearly misses. The American version has been tossed in Australia and should be on its way to the heap on this side of the pond as well. Don’t Waste Your Life!

#2. Chocolate News (Comedy Central)– I want to file a Class Action suit against Dave Chappelle. His abandonment of the network forced them to rush to fill his spot. They offered The Sarah Silverman Program in all its racist glory, The Mind of Mencia in all its racist glory and now Chocolate News starring David Allen Grier…racist. These programs abandon wit and clever writing for crude words and images, and shock talk. They capitalize on doing things that garner more discomfort than entertainment.

#1 The Hearbreak Kid (2007)– The Farrelly brothers take another shot that misses the mark completely. Having success with Ben Stiller in There’s Something About Mary, the sibling writer-producer-directors run out of ideas and offer this course attempt at humor. This movie made me want to take a brillo pad to my soul. Its only redeeming quality is that it was on HBO and I didn’t lose money at the box office or Blockbuster. However, I will never get those 99 minutes back. Carlos Mencia stinks up this movie too.


Dr. James Dobson…Really!?!

Posted in Faith & Religion, people, politics with tags , , , on October 31, 2008 by Rick

Perhaps Dr. James Dobson SHOULD focus on the family and leave the politics to people that don’t run a non-profit. I’m just saying?

Check out author Matthew Paul Turner’s post

Commitment Issues?

Posted in Colin Cowherd, ESPN, ESPN Radio, Life, random with tags , , , , , on October 30, 2008 by Rick

Do men really have commitment issues? I hear that quite often. It’s mostly heard from frustrated singles but it is commonly accepted non-the-less. I hadn’t thought too deeply about it until ESPN Radio host Colin Cowherd spilled over the issue to the point of exhaustion. He argued that men are immensely committal, however it’s generally over things that don’t appeal to women. His examples were record collections, sports memorabilia, fantasy football leagues, refurbbing an old car, sports teams etc. Then the Holy Spirit poked me in the side. “What all are YOU committed to Rick?” I thought of my wife, my children’s spiritual and physical well being, my relationship to Christ, my jobs, being a positive member of society, standing against injustice…then it happened. I felt ashamed as my next thoughts were the Falcons, the NBA, watching football, fantasy football, fantasy baseball, fantasy basketball, DirecTV, high-speed internet (not dsl), new-release Tuesdays for music, everything recorded by John Mayer, anything recorded by Outkast, and carbohydrates.

I don’t believe it’s wrong to desire and experience the things on my list, but what disturbs me is that the thought of going without these things for an extended period of time, or forever, makes me more than a little nervous. I am committed. Which means my money, energy and time are devoted to these things. That bothers me. I have elevated insignificant activities to unhealthy levels and, thanks to God’s agent of change, Colin Cowherd, I will be reevaluating the place I’ve set for these things in my life.

Maybe I’m overreacting?

Maybe I’m saving my soul?

What are YOU committed to?

Want to see my shot glass collection?

That’s NOT English!

Posted in random with tags , , , on October 20, 2008 by Rick

“Whole ‘nother”…not English.

PETA Was No Fisherman…

Posted in people, random, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on October 11, 2008 by Rick

Today I’d like to highlight PETA and the wonderful labor of love they do for Sea Kittens!

That’s correct. Sea Kittens. You see, for far too long we barbaric humans have mistreated and abused our water dwelling brethren. Inhumanely treating them as FOOD! Thanks to the genius and compassion of PETA, we can now embrace the creatures formerly known as fish, as warmly as we do their land dwelling counterparts…cats. By relabeling them as sea kittens we will miraculously shift our perspective of fish as voiceless, water-bound delicacies to now celebrating them as cohabitants in the family of the inedible.

PETA wants you to understand that sea kittens have been victimized because we can’t hear them scream when we uproot them from their marine dwellings, butcher them up and lay their hapless carcasses on ice…or in a frying pan with corn meal…or in lemon & butter with herbs then baked to a flaky-NO! NO! NO!

Sigh! Sorry PETA. You may take my quarterback, but you’ll never take…my GRILLED TILAPIA!!!

…and I won’t be eating human-breast-milk ice cream either!

This post inspired by Brian Brasher’s October 8, 2008 entry.

My apologies for the lame biblical reference and the pun in the title.

Main Street, Joe Six-Pack and Politians That Don’t Know Me.

Posted in politics, random with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2008 by Rick

John Q. Pubilc, John Q. Taxpayer, John Q. Citizen, Joe Blow, Average Joe, the condescending Joe Schmoe and the morbid John Doe. All of the aforementioned terms are common when referring to the middle class, small business or just some person whose name you don’t know. But those terms are so passe. Presidential wanna-bees John McCain and Barack Obama made it clear that the country is split between Wall Street and Main Street. Wall Street is nothing new to me or any Tom, Dick or Jane in America. However, when they referred to Main Street I got a little confused. Initially, I assumed I was a part of the Main Street crew. The dueling senators used the term interchangeably to identify small business, the middle class or those that make $250,000 or less. Kind of a broad brush but I get it. I considered those categorized as “Wall Street” and realized there was a huge portion of the country totally omitted from this conversation. Where do J-Mac and Obie fit into the picture? Were there streets that weren’t mentioned, with some cool name I don’t know of? Like Easy Street? Do citizens who make more than $250,000 not have streets? Maybe the Mark Cubans, David Lettermans and Terrell Owens of the world are shielded from the damage of an economic collapse? Surely I jest. But this all makes me wonder what other clever names the politicians have for those that don’t live like them. If you have insight please share.

On a similar note, who is JOE SIX-PACK? Don’t google it. Seriously! Save yourself! Those sites aren’t as innocent as their domain names suggest! Shouldn’t a conservative candidate like Palin find a more appropriate term to categorize folks she patronizes? Unless, the “six-pack” is a gross overestimation of the physical fitness of the average American, or a bazaar parallel between the average taxpayer and carbonated soda consumption, the term is inaccurate at best.

By the way! As long as the candidates are finding clever little ways to endear themselves to the little guy, why not give me, my phone, my mailbox and my inbox a break and raise campaign funds by selling out the rights to your preferred term of estrangement. For example, instead of Governor Palin calling me Joe Six-Pack, she could work a deal and call me Joe ipod (C) or John Q. Ameritrade (TM). I still won’t identify with the label but at least she can capitalize on the ad revenue, helping John McCain a lot more than she is now.
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